Change Is Scary: From Insight to Action
I think autumn has always been my favourite season. I love the slowing pace, the crisp air, the beautiful colours, and the way nature seems to invite reflection.
I suspect I’m in the minority here. For many, change can feel scary, and sitting with our emotions can feel even scarier. Without the distractions of summer, the quiet and lengthening evenings can bring us face-to-face with feelings we’d rather avoid. And yet, it’s precisely in this season that, if we pay attention, we notice what needs care.
When Insight Isn’t Enough
As a therapist, I often see clients who reflect, talk, and gain insight in sessions, yet outside the room, life stays the same, and they might decide it’s the therapy that’s not working.
Insight highlights patterns, unpacks emotions, and helps you feel heard, but real change requires integration into daily life. Without applying what you learn, the work might stay theoretical, and the feelings you want to shift may keep coming back.
Highly sensitive, introverted, and neurodivergent individuals often process deeply, which is a strength, but it can also mean staying “stuck in the head,” overthinking rather than acting. There’s often a block between talking through changes and actually putting them into practice.
Why Change Feels Unsafe
Our nervous systems are wired for safety, not growth. Change, uncertainty, and stepping into discomfort can all feel threatening. The body responds with anxiety, tension, or the urge to freeze or escape.
Dr. Russell Kennedy, author of Anxiety Rx, explains that anxiety is a feeling problem, not a thinking problem. When that inner alarm goes off, the mind tries to solve it through analysis and prediction. Each “worked-out” thought gives a temporary dopamine hit, a fleeting sense of relief, but the body still holds the original alarm. That’s why overthinking never fully resolves fear.
The key is staying with the feeling itself. Breathe into it, notice it, allow it to soften. Your nervous system learns, I can feel this and survive. Over time, this rewires old threat responses into confidence, resilience, and trust.
Tell Your Nervous System It’s Safe
When fear rises, remind your body it’s safe in this moment:
Slow, steady breathing: Inhale for four, exhale for six. Notice your shoulders soften.
Grounding: Press your feet into the floor, feel the sensations in your body, or touch something comforting.
Self-soothing words: Repeat phrases like “I am safe. I can handle this.”
Gentle movement: Stretch, walk, or shake out tension to release stored stress.
These small actions tell your nervous system that not all change is dangerous, making it easier to step into discomfort and act with intention.
Practical Ways to Move from Talk to Action
Start small: Take one manageable step between sessions; a conversation, a boundary, or a self-care act. Small successes build confidence.
Commit to action outside the room: Journalling, saying no to what drains you, or practicing mindfulness in real life helps integrate insights.
Stay with discomfort: Lean into the feeling instead of overthinking it. Each time you tolerate unease, your nervous system learns safety.
Let go of perfectionism: Change doesn’t need to be flawless. Progress is the goal; self-compassion is the path.
Create accountability: Share small goals with a friend, family member, or your therapist to reinforce follow-through.
Learning to Trust Yourself
At the heart of all change is trust: trusting your ability to navigate uncertainty, trusting that fear doesn’t have to stop you, and trusting that your body can learn safety.
Trust grows gradually, through small actions, repeated practice, and compassionate self-reflection. Each time you face discomfort, breathe through it, and act with intention, your nervous system learns: I am safe now.
Takeaway
Insight in therapy lights the path, but real change requires walking it. Fear and discomfort are signals, not stop signs. When you meet them, breathe through them, and act with intention, you cultivate trust in yourself and your nervous system.
This Autumn, as the shadows lengthen and the air sharpens, ask yourself: What is one small action I can take today that my future self will thank me for? Because if we don’t make changes, things don’t change, and taking that first step is how transformation begins.
Like the trees shedding their leaves, release what no longer serves you, and make space for growth.
If you’re ready to turn insight into action and step more confidently into change, I’m here to support you. Whether you want to explore your emotions, set boundaries, or take practical steps toward the life you want, working together can help you integrate what you learn into your daily life. Get in touch today to book a session, and let’s take that first small step together.